Hear from the Whittaker family and learn how you can help create more Moments that Matter
Moya Cole Hospice has officially launched its 2026 Spring Appeal: Moments that Matter
A warm embrace, a mug of tea, the kindness of a nurse. A comforting meal, family time, learning to walk again – these are the Moments that Matter to those dealing with the most difficult periods of their lives.
This spring, we’re asking for your help to make more of these moments possible. Hear from the Whittaker family below who experienced moments that mattered to them at Moya Cole Hospice.
To learn more about the Moments that Matter appeal and ways you can help, click here.
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When someone is living with a progressive life-limiting condition, both they and their family may require support. Rob Whittaker was referred to Moya Cole Hospice almost two years ago for holistic palliative care support for a rare irreversible, progressive neurological condition (PSP) as well as dementia. It was like navigating uncharted water for him and his family.
Their experience at Moya Cole Hospice, such as symptom control for Rob, a voice of assurance for his wife, Jayne, and their two daughters, Amy and Katy, and maintaining all four of their wishes for Rob to remain at home, are moments that truly matter to a family going through the most difficult times of their lives.
“It got to a point where the hospital couldn’t do anymore for Rob,” Jayne said. “They referred us to the care of Dr Waterman and Moya Cole Hospice because from that point it was about managing his symptoms and providing care for him.
Being here has been absolutely invaluable to me. Dr Waterman had the skill of almost allowing me to make changes as Rob deteriorated Jayne Whittaker, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
“Like allowing him to have more time in bed,” Katy said to her mum. “You were feeling guilty about that. You believed that you must get him up, that you must give him this quality of life. You were thinking you had to do all these things and Dr Waterman gave you permission and confidence to understand that it is okay to leave Rob in bed a little longer in the mornings.
“He helped you make those hard decisions,” Katy added.
Jayne says that before they came into the care at the hospice, she often felt forgotten about as a partner and seen more as a carer to the professionals.
“Here, everybody checked in on me and the girls. It was right across the board. We got to know so many people. Everybody was so kind and checked in on us and Rob as well, obviously,” Jayne said.
I don’t think Rob ever saw the trauma of coming here. He never saw it as another hospital appointment. He just saw us having a bit of an afternoon out. Whenever we made an appointment here, we were always able to make it at a time that suited all four of us, which wasn’t always easy to do when he was in hospital Jayne Whittaker, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
Rob’s condition of PSP and Dementia affects personality, behaviour, and language. In Rob’s case, it affected his speech, and he lost his mobility.
“We moved into a flat almost three years ago and Rob was walking with a stick,” Jayne said. “For the last 12 months, he’s been wheelchair dependent and hoisted.”
Amy continued to describe her Dad’s condition.
“It progressed quickly. At the very beginning he had pins and needles, and numbness in his feet, so he tripped a lot, and fell a lot. His balance went. He went from doing jigsaws and reading to not being able to use his fingers. His eyes were fixed so he couldn’t move them, another PSP symptom that affected his muscles there. It’s a neurological disease not a muscular one. So the messages from his brain to his muscles weren’t being received.”
It was like the cogs just slowed down. You could see him trying to work, trying to tell his foot to move whenever we would ask him to lift his feet up to his wheelchair footplates. He then lost his speech and his swallow Amy Whittaker, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
The family’s wishes were to keep Rob at home where possible during his last 18 months. He was never an inpatient at Moya Cole Hospice.
“If I hadn’t been coming here, I don’t think we would have been able to keep him at home,” Jayne said.
“If Dr Waterman hadn’t provided me with reassurance and the confidence to care for him, I don’t think it would have been possible.
“I felt like if I made any change in Rob’s care, such as letting him stay in bed longer in the mornings, it was almost like I was bringing the end of his life closer. Dr Waterman assured me that it wasn’t the case. It was making the situation more manageable and comfortable. I felt very calm after every appointment we had,” she added.
The Whittaker family found the care received from Moya Cole Hospice so positive that they stopped seeing all other consultants apart from Dr Waterman.
“The hospice made a negative journey in our lives more manageable through understanding and positive care,” Jayne said.
We as a family almost looked forward to coming to the hospice once a month. We came here and we often went to lunch after; it became a nice thing. Rob, he just saw it as a day out with his girls Jayne Whittaker, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
Amy said they came to the hospice earlier in January to drop some donations off from Rob’s funeral.
“We were going to go for lunch, and we stopped the car and I ran in with a cheque from the funeral. I just said I’d ask while I was in was Liz [Outpatient Assistant] here, who was great with us during Dad’s illness. Liz had a lovely way of speaking with us and making us feel like we were the only family she was dealing with; everyone here did.
“She took time out of her day to speak with us and make us feel so welcome. I rang mum and Katy in the car to come in. She spent an hour with us, she went and got us a brew and spoke about bereavement services at the hospice, and books we could get our kids who found it hard. She looked at family photos with us, listened, and reminisced with us.
“We wanted to speak with Dr Waterman again to thank him for everything and she went ahead and booked us in a debrief with him,” Amy said.
According to Jayne, Amy, and Katy, the hospice provided that sense of connection, a familiarity, as if they were and are a part of a community. They never felt in the way, and it provided them with a safe space to speak openly about Rob.
“It felt like closure in a way and it’s so nice to know that the door has been left open, even after Dad has passed,” Amy said.