Sandra says Moya Cole Hospice made an ‘extremely difficult time’ a ‘little bit easier’
Sandra's husband, Brian Ackers died at Moya Cole Hospice in March
Brian Ackers was diagnosed as terminal two years ago, his cancer returning after 20 years. He died at Moya Cole Hospice in Heald Green in March of this year.
His wife Sandra and her eldest daughter, Leanne say the care Brian received at Moya Cole Hospice was exceptional and made an extremely difficult time in their lives a little bit easier. She, Leanne, and Leanne’s newborn daughter Lottie paid a visit to the new Moya Cole Hospice which Brian didn’t get to see.
Brian had cancer in his mouth. Over the course of his illness, he received chemotherapy and immunotherapy, which caused him to dislocate his jaw. He couldn’t eat for the final 12 months of his life and was fed through a PEG (Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy).
The only treatment they could do for him in the end was radiotherapy which he had with his previous cancer.
“It was like putting his mouth in the microwave,” Sandra said.
“I remember the pain he went through at the time. I told him that I did not expect him to do it. It’s so hard.”
He told me he wanted to. He wanted to because he wanted to meet his granddaughter, Lottie, who hadn't been born yet. That was last November Sandra Ackers, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
There was one day, towards the end of Brian’s life, Dr David Waterman from Moya Cole Hospice came to visit him at home. Brian was having complications with steroids he had been taking, leading to his blood sugars spiking and causing dizzy spells. Sandra feared she would not be able to pick him up if he fell.
“Dr Waterman asked us about the pain. I couldn’t bear to see him in pain. Whenever he was in intense pain, he’d sit in the kitchen with his head in his hands. I couldn’t watch when he was doing that.”
Dr Waterman suggested Brian be admitted to the hospice to manage his blood sugars and his pain.
Brian shook his head. At this point he couldn't speak as the tumour had grown outside his mouth. I remember saying to him that if he fell, I couldn't pick him up. He then agreed to go into the hospice but only if he was coming home again Sandra Ackers, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
“Dr Waterman reassured him that he could come home at any time, they weren’t going to lock him in. It just didn’t make logistical sense to have him at home while he was in that condition.”
That was on a Monday, and on Tuesday, Moya Cole Hospice informed Sandra and Brian that a room was available and if they could come in by 2pm.
“He ended up getting his own room and he was happy about that. He had a suction machine to help with secretions from his mouth; he didn’t like people seeing that happen.
“Straight away it was like we were at home. A lady came to see us and gave us all a cup of tea. They gave him a whiteboard so he could communicate.
The doctors would come down and see him all the time and when they talked, they talked to Brian, which I thought was lovely. They made him a part of the process and that to me was very important. He wasn't just a patient, he wasn't a number, he was a human being Sandra Ackers, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
Sandra said they could stay as long as they wanted. Leanne’s son Jamie was in all the time and the family felt welcome to be with Brian at all times.
“My brother-in-law,” Sandra said. “He never goes to the hospital to see anybody, he just won’t. First of all he said he wasn’t coming to see Brian, but when it was explained to him what it was like, he came in. After that, you couldn’t keep him away.
“He had been in a week and had asked me to put some juice through his PEG feeding tube. Afterwards, he became very quiet. When I looked at him, I realised he was bleeding from his mouth. I didn’t know what to do. I grabbed some tissues and pressed the emergency call button.
“The nurses came in straight away. They took over and made sure he was comfortable, but it was frightening. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been in the hospice.”
Sandra said the experience left her terrified. She worried that if they were at home, Brian might choke and she would not know how to help him.
One Sunday, Brian watched Manchester United on a phone. He could never just watch one game, he had to watch them all. He didn’t take his eyes off the screen all day and when I was there on the Monday, he was sleeping all day.
I blamed it on the football but that was Brian's best day. On Wednesday, at about 3am, we got a call from Natasha, a nurse on the ward. She said Brian's breathing had changed and we might want to come in Sandra Ackers, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
The family stayed with Brian all Wednesday morning. Sandra didn’t leave Brian.
“Natasha went and got me a recliner chair. It was quite heavy and she managed to get it in by herself. She said I could sleep in that. I couldn’t sleep but it’s the fact that she thought about it.
“Jodie, my daughter arrived before 7 o’clock on Thursday morning. She told me to go home and get some sleep. So, I went home.
Sandra continued: “I started washing Brian’s pyjamas at home.
“I was hanging the washing out and Jodie rang me and said I needed to get here straight away. I carried on putting out the washing,” Sandra said through tears.
By the time I'd got there, it was too late, he'd already gone. I curse that day Sandra Ackers, Moya Cole Hospice Supporter
According to Sandra, Brian never saw what happened to him in a negative light, he kept fighting until the very end.
“He had cancer 20 years previously. He said when he was diagnosed as terminal two years ago that he got to see his children grow up and he got to see his grandchildren. ‘I’ll always be grateful’ is what he said.”
Shortly before Brian died, his daughter Leanne gave birth to her daughter Lottie. Brian had the chance to meet her and hold her in his arms.